the process of grieving
by hagakrure
Summary: they had been selected for greatness - mason/jesse


**i really don't know anymore**

**this is like...different? to canon more like...if they were a closer group, and had known eachother longer**

* * *

they had been selected for greatness

that sentence was repeated, ingraining itself into jesse's head, then slowly fading to a dull ache at the back of his mind after a while

had it been days? weeks? months? maybe a year and a half - jesse had picked up the ability to lose sense of time over a while.

he'd always immersed himself in human poetry, especially in the aftermath

but it was a piss-poor attempt at forgetting everything.

* * *

he'd heard the stories and saw the videos. sid had fallen, he'd been told.

they were just sugarcoating the fact that sid arkale was dead and they couldn't do a goddamn thing about it

he shot a pressed smile at his comrades, _-friends-_, when he saw them next. zenet stared at the ground, her hands, her frame trembling as if she were a dam about to burst with a flood of emotion.

ren had his chin rested on the top of his hands as he stared off into the distance, eyes glazed over.

he didn't blame those two;

they were sid's closest friends.

lena was the same as jesse had been, burying herself alive in literature, curling into herself, trying to shove any form of feeling deep down. feelings were foreign to her, jesse knew that much

yet,

mason didn't do a thing.

didn't react in any way that would hint he were grieving.

he sauntered around, muttering to avior as per usual, his face a stone mask that could rival lena's in a previous time.

and jesse cursed him, cursed him for staying so stable, cursed him for not falling apart in some form - zenet didn't eat, ren didn't speak, lena shut herself inside her room for hours on end

and jesse didn't sleep

* * *

and so when jesse was perched in a chair, re-reading some materials he had acquired a few weeks back to try and put his mind at some ease, he glanced up at the sound of footsteps to find mason leaning against the door, the left corner of his mouth turned into some cross between a smirk and a genuine smile.

-are you ever gonna draw your eyes away from those books of yours?- he'd said, his posture slumping slightly.

-some of us are a little more _human_\- came jesse's curt reply, not bothering to look up, his mouth turning down.

mason twitched at this. -whaddaya' mean, a little more human?-

jesse sighed, standing up as he towered over mason's frame,

-well, it appears that a few in our group have handled the demise of our friend a little _better_\- he hissed the word, -than you have-

mason recoiled as if he had been bitten by a snake. -you think_ i_ haven't been _fucking upset?_\- he was shaking now, but jesse didn't notice.

pretended not to notice.

-of course i have, idiot!-, he snarled, shoving an acccusatory finger in jesse's face. -you seem to be forgetting, i'm not exactly as great with my emotions!-

jesse stopped, pressing his lips together and tugging at locks of his hair - habits he had picked up over time.

-i... probably shouldn't have assumed so much,- he muttered, deliberately avoiding mason's gaze as a crease formed between his eyebrows.

-yeah, you really shouldn't have-

* * *

and the guilt of it all just ate him alive

from mason's well hidden grieving to the blatant sadness of the other three

he didn't know how long he could bear it

* * *

_knock, knock, knocking_

mason was more than upset at jesse's appearance in front of his door, mouth curling down, but he wasn't going to send him away without some form of explanation.

-maybe it's wiser of me to ease the process of grieving for us both-, was all jesse said.

mason sighed, drawing in a deep breath.

he was older here, jesse noted, the bags under his eyes adding many years to him.

-yeah, well i think it's wise of me to take you up on that offer,- he replied, steely eyes cast down, unfeeling. -'sides, i doubt sid would've wanted us to turn into statues, after all-

no, he really wouldn't have.

* * *

every night after that was spent with alchohol bottles littering the floor and jesse perched on his bed, mason on his lap, their mouths moving together.

company was merely a distraction, of course, but hey, why not make the most of it?

and jesse idly wondered how the higher ups could sit on their thrones of gold

doing nothing

while they had allowed his friend to die

* * *

**this is terrible and rushed im sorry i havent watched bakugan for a good three years and i dont really want to edit this fic much**

**bluuuuuuuh this is what i get for writing for minor villains with hardly any interaction (when you think about it)**

**if ur gonna criticize dont be a prick about it thanks**


End file.
